A Heavy Heart and Sea Turtles

With all the drama that unfolded today as a possible government shutdown loomed over this country, my heart and head were bombarded with so much. And, because writing helps me sort out the chaos within me, I will write.

It took a lot of googling and digging through articles to figure out why President Obama was so against the bill that Congress had decided on to ensure at least the military will stay funded so those that keep this country safe would receive a paycheck. After finding out that Obama was mad about de-funding Planned Parenthood (an organization notorious for supporting abortions in the event of unwanted pregnancies) attached to the bill, I got so angry that I could've punched something. What made me even angrier was to see so many comments from pro-choicers talking about how appalled they are that abortion is considered killing babies. One girl wrote how she had no regrets about her abortion because it was an embryo and not even called a fetus yet so therefore it was nowhere near "becoming" a baby at the time of her abortion. My eyes welled up with tears as I came face-to-face with how deceived and disillusioned from the truth that so many are. I cannot figure out how anyone cannot make the connection between an embryo, fetus, and a baby. If fetuses sometimes produced babies but sometimes produced trees or plants or some other organism, maybe- just MAYBE- could their arguments hold some far-off validity. But, alas, embryos and fetuses are already babies. They have human cells, they have blood, they have a heartbeat, their sex has already been determined in their DNA, and they will not grow into anything else but humans.

Yesterday, Brett was watching Disney's documentary about ocean life, adequately titled "Ocean". I was excited as I sat down to join him because I love seeing how creative our Maker is in the billions of different species He crafted. Though I understand that God created animals to eat other animals – and, in turn often be eaten - I still don't like to watch it happen. It wasn't long into this movie that the feasting began. Different types of fish eating other fish, a lobster fighting with and killing a crab, birds diving into the water and eating fish, plants eating fish, fish that look like rocks eating fish, sharks eating seals… it seemed like I couldn't watch in peace and just marvel at the Creator without being faced with the (sometimes gruesome) reality of the food chain every 2 minutes or less. Just as I was about to stop watching, the frame switches to baby sea turtles hatching.

I remembered hearing many years ago that one reason sea turtles are endangered is because so many of the babies don't survive the trip from the nest to the ocean. So, as the camera zooms in on sea turtles heading out of their underground haven and towards the ocean, I knew that inevitably some of them were about to get eaten as hundreds of birds swarmed overhead. But I could not pull my eyes away because they were so stinkin cute. Aside from puppies and kittens, baby sea turtles are the cutest little animal babies.

The smile on my face at the sight of the cute little turtles quickly fell flat. Not only did the birds start snatching up the baby turtles as they moved with all their might towards the ocean, but they did it relentlessly. They swooped down so fast and grabbed them so tightly with their claws that if you blinked you would not be able to tell if they successfully grabbed one or not. As the camera moved to an aerial view, the turtles looked like they were disappearing into thin air off the sand. I wanted to look away but I felt that tugging of the Holy Spirit to pay attention. The turtles were using all their effort and undoubtedly focusing solely on that ocean, their cute little flippers moving as fast as they could. I hated seeing the first ones get snatched up as soon as they came out of the underground nest, but it hurt even more to see those that made it to where the waves meet the sand only to feel the cool ocean water and then be snatched away.

The last few seconds of this part of the movie showed one sea turtle make it to a deeper part of the ocean after narrowly escaping the claws of birds diving after it. I looked at Brett, shocked to see only one tiny turtle on the screen after just watching hundreds of them come out of the ground at the beginning of the scene. "Surely that's not the only one that survived, is it??" And then the narrator answered my question, as if he heard me ask. He says something like, "Only 1 in 1000 baby sea turtles survive." 999 out of 1000 sea turtles get eaten en route to the ocean. This number made my jaw drop wide open.

Brett likes to joke that I am the ideal spokeswoman for PETA because I am a softie for animals (usually cats and dogs). It is wrong that PETA believes animals should be treated just like humans, and would never ever EVER consider myself in agreement with them. But my mind started whirling with what I had just seen and I thought: All of the camera crew were around but they didn't do anything about it! I know they needed that footage of what happens without intervention… but how could they just sit back and let all those cute little sea turtles die?! Especially when they are endangered! Then I thought about God, the very Creator of every single one of those innocent baby turtles. Who happens to also be the Creator of those birds, who were hunting how they were created to hunt.

I saw so much significance in what I witnessed. And tonight I see even more. My first 2 points are what God showed me yesterday during and after that scene, with the 3^rd point being what He gave me tonight.

1. Because He is all-knowing, God knew the very moment each of those turtles' lives would end. Even as He put each of their lives into motion, He knew it would be over soon. I don't think He was tormented over this, because He knew the birds needed fed. Not one bird dies outside of the will of God (see Matt. 10:29), and this holds true for any living creation.

I know that it is not God's will for humans to die of starvation, accidents, disease… the list could go on. But while satan roams this earth, he is a destroyer and will use these tools of destruction to try to create confusion about the goodness of God, make people question God's authority, and most of all try to nullify the credibility (and power) of God's love for us. Meanwhile, God promises that He can take every possible thing satan throws at us and turn it around for our good, for His glory and purposes if we love Him (see Romans 8:28). My Pastor said something a couple months ago that resonated in me: God's perfect will is different from God's permissive will. God's perfect will involves a life of no suffering, no pain, none of the awful stuff that entered this world when sin did. But God's permissive will holds us up in that, while He hates satan and all that satan does to us (we ARE His beloved, whom He loves with zeal and intensity), He purposes to use the hardships to mold us and give us opportunity to prove our faith (trust) in Him genuine while also giving us incredible joy and peace that surpassing understanding. Our human minds cannot wrap around just how endless His love and devotion are to us… even when His ways are often so incredibly mysterious. So, whatever you face, place all your faith (which is trust) and hope in Him. His Word makes it clear that 1) we will have hardships in this life and 2) God is love. No matter what, He is good and worthy of praise. And He loves YOU, even when you don't feel worthy. (None of us are worthy in our own strength!) We gotta be like that little turtle who beat the odds and made it to the ocean. We can't let satan's demises hinder us from pressing on with our eyes on that finish line: Eternity with God in an incredible place He is preparing for us! If that little turtle would have stopped and looked up or if it focused on the danger it was in, there's no way it would have reached its goal. We gotta take the magnifying glass off our circumstances and place it on our God!

2. Just as He orchestrated the beginning and ending of the turtles' lives, so has He done the same with ours. We are INFINTELY more valuable to Him than animals. So precious, so cherished, so loved that He humbled Himself and sent His Son to take on all our sin, shame… our punishment. He did not deserve to pay our penalty. But He did, because He knew that we cannot save ourselves and we can try to follow His commandments but we will fail without His power to make us conquerors. He did not want to lose us for eternity because of sin. He does not desire that ANYONE go to Hell! But because of His holiness, He must be just and He must give each the righteous punishment. But now we have the blood of Jesus to cover us. So that when I stand before Him, He will not see my sin because the sacrifice was made and MY punishment was paid in full by His Son! So at the beginning of my life and at the end, and every day in between, my soul knows without a doubt that God has created me for His glory and for His purposes.

Our days our numbered. To live like they are not is foolishness. So are we supposed to "make the most of them" by living how our sinful self desires? Of course not. The blood of Jesus covers those who repent and accept Christ into their lives, but to know of Him and yet not surrender still leads to Hell. I do not seek to keep His commandments to earn salvation. I seek to keep them because I owe Him my everything. Being a slave to Him instead of a slave to sin is the most freeing, joyful, enjoyable life. I don't want to regret the way I lived when I stand before God and have to give an account for my choices. I don't want any of us to. Just as surely as our bodies had a birth date, we all have an expiration date. Please do not waste a single day in between. I screw up a lot- we all do- but there is grace, forgiveness, acceptance, and (praise God!) the promise that He can transform us each day to live more and more like He desires us to.

My last point is very heavy and undoubtedly "controversial".

3. Tonight, those sea turtles represented babies at the time of conception. (That 999 of 1000 babies would be aborted is obviously not realistic- thank You God- but right now 4,000 are aborted every day {an average of 1 every 20 seconds}… and each one of these precious babies is infinitely more valuable to God than turtles). Tonight, the birds did not represent God's creation but satan, using doctors and day-after pills and pro-choice politicians and businesses to snatch away the lives of these babies who are only looking to glorify God with their lives (seeing as, even though sin is in their DNA, they are still at the age of innocence and we all know our purpose is to glorify Him with our lives until sin convinces us otherwise). And we are the camera crew. Some of us that hate abortion may talk about how wrong it is, just as I imagine some of the crew (especially if that included any softies like me) may have talked about how sad it was to see those baby turtles try so hard and then die, even though the odds of surviving were against them from the start. Some watch the birds (satan) and agree with their actions. And yet, through it all, God is still God. I know without a doubt that abortion breaks His heart exponentially more than it breaks mine. It is very personal to Him. Each child He makes I imagine with angry tears flowing down His holy face knowing they won't breathe their first breath before satan takes their life away- but also knowing even beyond that that He's conquered satan and satan's days are numbered.

I don't care who I offend- I have to voice truth. There is a holy and just God that will punish those that do not repent from evil and put their trust in Jesus Christ and submit to the Holy Spirit. And, while I am angry at those that kill these babies, my heart hurts that their lack of wisdom or absence of reverent fear of God will send them to an eternity in Hell if they do not repent and turn from the wickedness. I think too many walk around jaded, thinking that they can either talk their way out of Hell after they come face-to-face with God in death. Or that God is so loving and merciful that He won't send them to Hell because they are essentially a "good person". I think even Christians forget God is just and will judge each one of us not according to our standards but according to His holy commands (which are NOT merely suggestions… and I'm not referring necessarily to the Ten Commandments, although God still expects us to keep them. But Jesus tells us in Luke 10:27 that He brings two new commandments, from which all other commandments will automatically be satisfied if just these two are followed: 1) Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. 2) Love others as yourself). Who God is and what He expects from us has been misrepresented a lot because the American church has shifted from fire-and-brimstone preaching to the grace-and-blessings Gospel. Without His grace, we'd all be going to Hell; but to ignore the wages of sin is to deem Christ's sacrifice on the cross as unnecessary.

God, words cannot express my gratitude for Your love. Your sacrifice, so precious and yet we're so unworthy. Yet even still, You have called us worthy. Help us in these final days to walk in love while being bold in our faith and in obedience to You. Awaken this nation, lift the veil from the eyes of the ones under the enemy's deception and lies. Draw us nearer to You, stir up a hunger for Your Word and a desire to live out every single day for You. Mighty Father, I pray YOUR WILL be done in this nation, NOT satan's! Raise up a people that will call out unto You for this nation and for those that don't know You. Raise up worshipers, that every word out of our mouth, every thought, and every action be done out of worship for You. You are God, You will get Your glory even if the rocks have to cry out. Be glorified in this nation, Jesus. You have shown infinite, undeserved mercy. I am sorry that this nation has turned its back on You. I weep with You, Holy Spirit, as thousands of Your fearfully and wonderfully made babies are taken from their mothers' wombs in the name of "women's rights". God, have Your way in me and in my country. I love You, and I am forever thankful for all that You've done and continue to do. Thank You for calling me Your beloved daughter. Let my life shine for You. You are so worthy, Amen.