"I Can't See You!"

When I was going through some old papers two days ago, I came across the following. I wrote it on June 30, 2010, with intentions of posting it on here to share with you all (better late than never, right?):

As Brielle and I entered her room at bedtime, she made a beeline to her ladybug lamp on the opposite side of the room from her bed. She loves to turn the light out. Instantly after the click of the switch, she gasped and said, "I can't see you!" I smiled. "Follow my voice, I'm right here," I said. I was standing by her bed, and I gave her several moments to try to find me by navigating across the room on her own. I expected her to call out for me, but she didn't. She just stood there in silence.

Through this whole situation, I felt God telling me to pay attention.

My eyes adjusted after a few moments and I made my way towards her. I lifted her in my arms and walked over to her bed. I sang her favorite song twice and tucked her in.
God made me aware of these moments with my daughter because in so many ways it reflects our relationship with Him at any given moment in our life.

As Brielle chose to turn the light off, so many times we make decisions in our lives that result in darkness. Startled to see the outcome of our choices, we might be tempted to blame God for what we've done. A few obvious examples:
A girl dates a guy she knows is up to no good and gives him her purity. He's got what he wanted, so he leaves her brokenhearted. "I can't see You, God!"
A man's addiction to alcohol causes him to lose everything... His wife, his children, his job. "God, where are You?"

Sometimes there isn't a correlation between our choices and the dark times in our life. It's like if the power would have went out while Brielle had no intention of turning the ladybug lamp off. Such as:
A faithful spouse finds out his or her beloved is having an affair. "God, why me?"
An accident that takes the life of someone you love. "God, are You here?"
A bleak diagnosis from the doctor. "God?"

We find it easy to think we know God pretty well when everything is going our way. I can say that, because I've been guilty. (Haven't we all?) We can attempt to compartmentalize Him if we aren't careful. We can be deceived into thinking we are surely pleasing Him by going to church, trying to not sin, and spending a few minutes in a devotional or the Bible. Or some assume that He will pardon their sins because they wear the label "Christian", even though they live just like those who don't believe in Jesus as Savior.
The problem is, God cannot be boxed in. It is impossible. If the God you serve fits in an orderly, comfortable section of your life, then you are serving a false God, one made up and not the one Creator of the Universe. It may feel real, but it's stale religion. Because the God described in Isaiah 40 is way too big for any box in our minds and hearts, and certainly doesn't owe us any answers: "Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed out the mountains and the hills? Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to be his teacher or counselor? Has the Lord ever needed anyone's advice? Does he need instruction about what is good or what is best?"

It took a lot of pain, heartache, and tears to come to the realization that God does not exist for me. Every time something went wrong in my life, I would look to Him to make it right. The problem with that is, our versions of "right" are two completely different things. While He says, "All things work together for the good of those who love Him," and "Count it all JOY when you fall into various trials," and "I refine with fire to purify the gold," we often say, "I want it my way, I know how my life should go, I know what's best!". And I can't help but think that when this is our mindset, we must look like the spoiled brat who kicks and screams when they don't get their way.

Back to Brielle's bedroom. She was in the darkness. She knew I was there, because she trusts me to not abandon her. Have you put your trust and confidence in God to never leave you alone? What is your faith built on?
She called out to me, and I told her to listen to my voice. By hearing me, she could navigate her way to my arms... but it would take risk. What if she stepped my way and then ran into her dollhouse? What if she went the wrong way and smacked into the dresser? She hasn't walked in the dark much, so she knew it was best to just stand there.
The book of Proverbs is beautiful to me in many ways, one being that so much emphasis is placed on godly wisdom. There is a difference between asking God for wisdom and asking Him to tell us why. I honestly do not believe we have the mental capacity to understand His reasons for so many things He allows. But we do have the Holy Spirit to fill us with the grace, peace, joy, patience, and whatever else we need to get us through the trial with our eyes set on Him.

I picked her up and she instantly felt peace. She made herself at home in my arms, nuzzling her cheek on my shoulder. Then I carried her to her bed, a place of rest.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30) This is promises from Jesus Christ Himself. He is not a liar, and He will always keep His Word. He is so faithful.
He is always there, no matter what you go through. In the depths of your sorrow, He wants to give you joy and hope. We have a good, good Daddy and He loves us immeasurably, whether life is going smoothly or whether we find ourselves in the valley. And He wants to use it ALL for His glory, if only we will let Him. I'm not making this up.

"Follow My voice, I'm right here." <--(see John 10:27 and John 14:20) Just as I said to Brielle, He is saying to us. Wanting to grow our faith, wrap us in peace, and give us rest.